When I was little, I could not wait to get married and have children. I just knew that getting married and having children would be the end all of happiness.
I did not grow up with a Mother and a Father in the same home. So, I really did not know what it would be like to have a family living under one roof. However, I always imagined it would be like Disney World – you know, the Happiest Place on Earth.
What I did not know; was that being married and having children would not guarantee me the happiness I thought I was supposed to experience on this earth. In fact, I had no clue how hard marriage and parenting would be. You can’t place your marriage or parenting on auto-pilot or back burner.
I had no idea that I was so incredibly selfish and sinful.
As a wife and a Mom, I have experienced some horribly sinful moments and days. I have desired sleep, play, fun, time out, time with friends, time.just.for.me.
You know, that – “Oh, I can’t do all of this or that because I must have my ME time”.
I had plenty of “me time” after my first two children were born. I worked in the corporate world and honestly, I was quite happy that I could go to the bathroom by myself, go out to lunch, go shopping and even ride in the car with anything I wanted on the radio, blaring as loud as I wanted.
Then, it happened.
I began changing and seeing that the path I was on, was not the happy path I always thought it would be. I was not happy, my husband was not happy and my children clung to me every moment they were around me – the whole 1 hour in the morning and 3 hours at night. Out of 24 hours, I spent a whole whopping 4 hours in the home, awake with them.
That Mommy guilt thing, it kicked in. I became jealous of my mother in law. She had moved in with us to help with the children and well, to enjoy life with her son and three of her grandchildren.
Me, I became jealous of the fun and time she was having with them. Not a bad jealous, but a Mommy-guilt jealous. Do you know what I’m talking about? However, that jealousy and Mommy-guilt began a whole new heart for this Mama.
It began a heart change and brought me closer to God by driving me to quit my very well-paying job to stay home. It then drove me to church and closer to Jesus. Then, it really turned my world upside down and pushed me right into homeschooling.
Mommy guilt is now the sweet voice I hear when I am being selfish by sleeping in, spending too much time on the phone, on the computer – doing anything to an extreme that detracts from my main purpose in life now.
God created me for many reasons. Each one should lead to glorifying Him. Right now, I am a Wife and a Mom. Those purposes can help grow a new generation who will lift up his name.
Me, I love writing and encouraging others. But, if that takes away from the overall goal of raising my children for God – then I’m thankful for that Mommy guilt that kicks in.
Why? Because that’s my conscience talking to me and getting me back on track.
Don’t hang your head in shame when you make a mistake Mama. You’re human. Look at that Mama Guilt in a different way! It’s a blessing to you and your children! It’s a voice of the Father letting us know we are getting a little off track from his plans for us. Use it to teach your children about mercy and grace by seeking it. When you mess up, ask for forgiveness and then…LIFT UP YOUR HEAD, smile and giggle! Show them the joy and beauty of repenting and truly accepting forgiveness and reconciliation!
That is where love is. That’s where they’ll find Jesus.
They won’t find him with us up on a soap box or hanging our heads in shame and unwarranted guilt.
They’ll find him, by seeing us on our knees, loving seeking and guiding.
Embrace that good Mama Guilt; be thankful for it….that’s where our hearts change! Be aware that not all guilt is good. Use discernment and identify truth.
To celebrate your new-found Joy and Gratitude for Mommy guilt,I have created a FREE Printable. It contains some of my favorite verses based on Justification. I love to spend time studying transformation and justification. I pray that when you print this sheet and cut out the verses, you will memorize them and God will transform your heart and share the beauty of justification with you.
Print the document HERE–> Thankful for Justification-Thankful for Justification
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What are you thankful for?