It’s time to step up and be the Mom you want to be! Seriously! I know, we all think we should read one more book, one more post, do this, do that….but I think we have all missed the simplicity of being the Mom we want to be.
Do you remember when you were little? Think back for a second to those early years – your earliest memories. You may not have warm and fuzzy memories- many of us do not. Even in those memories your heart yearned for something that your children yearn for now.
What do children want
If you can look into that little heart of yours and think about your biggest desire – it was attention from the people who love(d) you. Not watered down, moments filled with little talk, smiles or giggles. You wanted attention that showed you that you were important. YES-that focused attention where you knew that your Mommy/Daddy were listening to you, really hearing you and desiring to be with you.
Confession of a Runaway Mommy
A few months ago, my husband began working really late hours. With no family or support to help (and yes, I homeschool), that meant extra hours for me. Rather than accepting where ‘we’ were during this time, I kept piling on more projects to help others with. I kept saying “Yes” to others and “No” or “wait a minute” to my children.
While, in my mind I thought those things would eventually help my family and take some of the burden off of my husband, the reality is that it did neither. Those ‘things’ I said ‘yes’ to became a hinderance and kept me from saying “Yes” to my children.
They kept me from fulfilling my first three priorities in life: Placing God first, being a godly wife and a nurturing mother. Instead, my time with God became dry and rushed. My time with my husband (when he was home) and my children – was becoming hurried, rushed, frustrating and they did not have my focused attention.
Be the Mom you Want to be
After sitting down one day and really spending time reading the Bible and praying I realized, I was not being the Mom I wanted to be. I was not playing, laughing, discipling, teaching, running – all those cool Mom things I promised myself I would do when I was a little girl. I had lost that ‘awe’ of my children. You know what I’m talking about and I pray you still have it. That “AWE” LOOK what you can do! The joy of being a Mom had drained out of me as I was pushing hard to please, be and do what others wanted me to do for them. I lost my focus.
Online Reality
It’s easy to lose your focus in the online world. It’s easy to ‘see’ things online and think “Wow, she/he can do that and look how happy their family is.” But, what you see online is very rarely the WHOLE story. That person who may seem to have it all, be everywhere and have a happy family may have a virtual assistant, older children or family helping them. Their marriage and family may be falling apart. The words you are reading may be beautiful and poetic; they may even be exactly what you are feeling at that moment. But, ask yourself, are they pushing you to become the godly Mom you were created to be. If not, if they are keeping you here, in the now and not pursuing God, then you may be heading down the same slope I was on.
Step Up Mom
In order to be the Mom we were created to be, we have to lay our lives down and stop living for us, but live for the one who created us. We have to shine his light for those littles: run, play, dance, turn the music up, romp in the wood – give them our full attention.
True Accountability
I’m stepping up and taking steps to give my children my focused attention. I have new guidelines in place (a check-list if you want to call it that) that guides me through my days – to keep me focused. I’ll share it with you and pray that God will seek the hearts of Moms who need to give their children their focused attention. And we can begin being accountable to the only one who knows the truth- God. (We can ask others to hold us accountable, but like the internet, other people can’t see our true hearts – only God can). Step up Moms, find that true accountability in our Heavenly Father.
- Quiet Time comes first – at 5am
- Seek my husband’s guidance and pray before making any commitment
- Work/Computer time is from 6-7 (then the computer is turned off)
- My husband and Dad have their own ‘ring’ on my phone
- Phone stays in the kitchen and is only answered for Husband and Dad
- I have individual time with my children daily – 15 minutes each (AT LEAST)
- Computer is turned on when children have outside play time in the evening
- Computer is OFF from 6-9 pm
- I only work on the computer at night if my husband is not at home.
What are you doing to become the Mom You want to be?
sharing with Simply Helping Him and Raising Arrows
Beautiful, my friend. This inspires me!! And with that, I’m putting my phone away for now
love you!!
Thank you Kris – your comment means a lot to me.
This is so good, so very good! On vacay with the family I am really having fun and realizing I’ve forgotten how at home! And I need to figure out why! Those guidelines are great, I need to set some up for myself. Love you girl!
ENJOY that vacay – wish we were there enjoying it with you!
I love this post. Every mom struggles with maintaining priorities, & I’m afraid I’m going through a season of it too. With a newborn, move & husband’s deployment, I’ve been way too quick to cut “Mommy time” out of the schedule. That ends today. And I’ll be praying for all you moms out there! May the Lord bless us with grace & wisdom to be the women He wants us to be.
Oh, you need a Mommy time out. You need to refresh, regroup and remember – even Jesus took time alone. We Moms think we need to put on our super-capes – those just don’t exist. I’ll pray for you Sara! Thank you for stopping by!
Yes, ma’am! I think any mom who wants to be a good mom needs to check her addictions at the door. The internet is endless, and we could waste our kids’ entire childhoods on it while pretending that we are actually doing it all for them. *cough* pinterest *ahem* My own rule is that I turn off the computer when the kids get up, turn it on when their little love and learning tanks are plumb full and they’re sick of mama. Off again at dinner. If hubby is too busy or sick to hang out after the kids’ bedtime, I might turn it back on, though lately that’s usually my cue to get out a book or play Oblivion for a while before bed. (Video games are also a big pitfall for me.) I’ve found a HUGE amount of peace in knowing that the internet doesn’t really care if I’m there or not, but my kids do.
Oh, you hit the nail on the head – ” the internet doesn’t really care if I’m there or not, but my kids do.” Thanks for always keeping it real and with that – I’m back to real life -
Rebecca, I am so glad I receive your posts in email because I opened my ‘mailbox’ this morning and this was what I saw… this was what I chose to read FIRST and my heart cried out in total agreement. Being ‘in the field’ for this time is creating such an inner conflict with me. Trying to be all things to all people. I needed the reminder that I am FIRST, a daughter of God, SECOND, a wife, THIRD a mother, and then all else. And while I can, on some subconscious level KNOW this… it is putting ALL things through that filter which richens our moments in life. Thank you for helping me refocus my ‘lenses’, I soooooo needed this this morning! God Bless you sweet sister!
Amanda, it’s a fine balance in today’s world where women are told they can have it all – everything has a cost…we have to remembr that! Praying for you sweet friend – I am so blessed by you and your words of encouragement. Thank you!
Oh, how I LOVE this post, my friend! I was just gearing up to email you, and hopped on here to make sure I had the right address (did some big changes to my computer, and my address book was wiped). At any rate, I saw this post and it PULLED me in.
YES, this is something that I struggle with. I’ve been working (slowly) on saying “no” over the past year or so. (after spending 30+ years saying YES to everything – hehe). It’s liberating! I’ve also burned out on some of the online stuff, yet it still has my focus….to my detriment, of course.
But I’m trying. One day at a time, right? Thank you so much for putting these wise words out where the rest of us mommas can see them and challenge ourselves!
Love you!
I really enjoyed this and I have been trying to be a better Mom and a better wife. It is a challenge for me with 7 children and a challenge that is worth it!
Such great reminders!!! Today I am going to be the mom I want to be!
Be blessed!