The truth about Insecurity and Anger
It was a long year for me wrapped in a turbulent sea of insecurity that festered into anger. I did not realize that until recently. I believe my lack of reality was due to walking around with blinders on.
How Insecurity Begins
I am sure it started early in life, my parents divorce, lack of stability and never really feeling like I fit in. Honestly, I didn’t. I’m not sure any of us really do fit in on this earth until we know where our value truly comes from.
But, as I look back, I realize I had struggled with it quite a bit over the past year. This past year of growth, desiring simple has been anything but simple. Instead it was wrapped in a year of desiring things that God had truly not placed upon my heart. And that caused a battle within my soul that I was truly unaware of until I sat down, prayed and allowed His word to fill my mind.
I began to realize that feelings from childhood came back to haunt this heart that should be more mature and more focused on Him than on the world….
Insecurity Based on Lies
I know I am loved by my Father. But, have I really believed that? Have I found my self worth in His word, in his love and in his ultimate sacrifice? Did I really believe I became a new creation and I belong to him????
And so I did what many do – I googled the term insecurity. Ironically, it brought a quote to the forefront by Naomi Campbell- ”Anger is a manifestation of a deeper issue…..and that for me, is based on insecurity, self-esteem and loneliness.”
Anger from Insecurity
I realized, sitting and reading those words – God had been sharing this with me forever. This anger, this sense of frustration that has been eating away at this mama’s heart is due to the insecurity I have placed upon myself by trying to help everyone – rather than remembering why I really get up every morning to read, write and cook.
I do these things to spend time with God, serve my family and then to reach out to others who need encouragement. I do these things to grow His Kingdom.
I want to do these things to seek a deeper relationship with him, rather than seeking to merely enjoy the blessings he wants to bestow upon those who love him.
So, it would seem that my year last year was spent building kingdoms other than the one that matters the most. I am thankful for his gentle reminder, love and grace.
The Truth About Insecurity And Anger
The truth about insecurity and anger – is that they are a pair that mix together in the heart to cause a person to doubt they are a new creation in Christ.
I wonder – are you seeking the wrong kingdom? Are you stuck in a land of insecurity rather than growing in the glorious beauty of a relationship with our Father?