Dear Sweet Mom Who Decided to Homeschool,
I read your message today. I cried over the heart hurt you have experienced from friends and loved ones who do not understand your decision.
Your words cut me to the core as I felt like I was reading a letter I could have written. Friends and family, misunderstanding your choice. Or perhaps, they felt that the divide between the ongoing battle to ‘home school, public school or private school’ was hitting too close to home.
It’s easy to feel threatened when someone we know and/or love decides to travel a path we have not chosen ourselves.
“I know you think we should homeschool and you judge us for not doing so.” Those words hurt when they came through my phone one day. A loved one who reads my words (here) misunderstood my passion for homeschooling – and took it as a judgement upon them.
Oh, how my heart hurt and how the reality of the path our family has taken – has somehow made others feel judged. My words, to me…when shared here, are merely a way for me to encourage others to travel this path, this journey and not feel judged. And, should someone be on the fence, trying to decide – I pray they have the courage to take the path God created for them.
It’s not easy. This life filled with freedom in Christ to step out and make choices about our children’s education. The fears associated with any choice can become a burden on a parent’s soul. It can keep you up at night deciding on classes they should take (in school) or what you should teach (at home).
Sweet one, you are not alone. I’m so sorry your friends and family are not happy with your choice. I’m sorry for the impact it has made on their hearts and yours. I pray that they will come to see that your choice is for your family and bears no weight upon their own.
I pray for forgiveness and healing. Not just for you, but for every family who makes a choice that others do not understand.
It seems our country’s division grows more and more everyday. The chasms based on life style choices grow as God is no longer viewed as central in our decision making. As many decide to make him the center and not live life like a pie where God gets Sunday and everything else is poured into every day of the week. A pie with 7 slices where six are joined and the seventh is only enjoyed on the Sabbath.
You and I , we approach this choice with fear, trepidation and joy. We know the path we are on is the path created for us – we are no better or less than those who chose public or private school. With Christ as our leader, we all view life focused on God – with him at the center.
As you go through your days, my only advice is this, share your heart with your family. Keep your heart focused on Christ and respond to their fear and judgement with love. Deep in my heart, I don’t think anyone wants to judge us or make us feel bad for our choices. I believe they fear we think they should do the same.
Oh, this world where communication can be so hard when we wrap it up in fear and judgement!
Let it go, sweet one. Share your love with them – right where they are. That will go far, I promise. And if the hurt is too great and you fear hurting back, focus on more prayer and less words – including those conversations we have in our own minds that can drown out the world around us.
Don’t let satan turn your mind or hurt into a bitter quarrel that never does anything except cause more chasms in our lives.
You are loved, even by those who don’t understand you. You are loved here…. and by your children.
Focus on that and perhaps we can join with others who have chosen to homeschool and those who decided not to – to build bridges and relationships focused on Christ for his glory – walking the path he has chosen for all of us.
Will you join me in building bridges and growing a community of families who love one another regardless of our choices in education for our children?
sharing with Raising Arrows. What’s Hot In Homeschooling
Oh how I adore you! Some of us moms feel bad enough as it is. I used to homeschool. When I remarried my husband wasn’t too keen on it and neither was my boys’ dad. I tried to change their minds. I even let them sit in on lessons and field trips and had them quiz the boys for the sake of them knowing that they really were learning. None of that mattered. They felt the boys need to be a part of larger organized sports and have experiences that will cause them to stand up for themselves and others. I did not agree but frankly, there wasn’t much more I could do. My heart still longs to bring them home. I do teach my youngest preschool at home and I pray that my husband will allow that for a long time. If he doesn’t, I’ll comply. Hearing others tell me I’m sinning, or not in obedience to God, or any of the other things I’ve read don’t help. I was bashed mercilessly when I posted photos of my child in school. For that reason I quit sharing the photos. I even quit using my kids names because of the rift our educational choice caused.
My heart wants to do teach them at home all the time, I don’t have the support to. The bashing does not help -from either side and as I stated I’ve been a part of both. And it is not Godly. We really never know what is the reason behind families educational choices. If we firmly disagree about a stance we should consider praying and not tearing each other down. I so agree with and love this post, Rebecca!
And yes, please pray that we can bring our boys home. My husband is a Godly man but because he stayed Godly through public school (and actually believes it helped him in many ways) he wants the same for our boys. It is simply a different perspective.
Amy, your comment made me cry. My heart yearns for a true fellowship of Christians to gather together and know that we are loved. Our paths may be incredibly different, but it isn’t up to anyone to judge another. We are told to approach a ‘brother’ in private to discuss concerns. – and to encourage, lift up and edify! What a BLESSING you are. Yes, I will pray that you are able to bring them home. MORE than that, I will thank God for the amazing help meet you are! What a beautiful example you are – I am blessed by your authentic heart – and more blessed to call you friend!
Once again, wise words spoken in love.
Just waiting for a quiet moment to call you! I’ve had some full days, but things are slowing down and I’m getting caught up.
Teresa,
God will provide you with the quiet when it’s time. I look forward to it and pray it will be in person again!
Wow. Amazing! Wish I had had this when I started 13 years ago.
Thanks so much for linking up with What’s Hot in Homeschooling.
This was beautiful…
thank you sweet friend. you bless me
Wonderful encouragement, Rebecca. So much grace is needed, to let others follow God’s leading for each of their specific children and situations. We chose a classical charter school for two years where we met only 3 days a month, so I still considered us homeschoolers, but many in the community did not. There was much friction and hurt and a real divide, and I had to remind myself that we are not teaching our kids to be part of a “homeschool movement” but disciples of Christ. Period. We have since returned to full-time homeschooling for various reasons, but our lives were totally enriched by our experience and I have learned not to be that homeschool mom who judges other’s methods. Thank you for affirming your friend and all of us.
Stopping by again to read for my third time…and still I choke up.
love your heart, friend.
thank you for nurturing mine…